We live in such and angry world!  Anger cripples. Anger fills us so full of venom that we cannot see anything except the fact that we are angry We live in such and angry world!  Anger cripples. Anger fills us so full of venom that we cannot see anything except the fact that we are angry and then all too often find our favorite kicking dog to take it out on. Most people have heard of Bruce Lee. Most people know him as a martial artist and early movie action star, and indeed he was that.  What a lot of people don’t know is he was also a deep thinker and philosopher. He said once that the reason he could beat most fighters is because most of his opponents that he fought would get angry. He beat most fighters because he knew how to relax and stay focused on the contest. He knew that when you get angry adrenaline flows unnecessarily and muscles become  stiff  and  slow. He had a term he used that I really like.  He said we should have ‘emotional content’ not anger. In other words, don’t be ruled by your emotions. Don’t REACT…ACT. Don’t let your emotions dictate how you act in a situation. Your response in ANY situation should never be a REACTION. You should always be in control and act in such a way that is wise and that the situation truly merits. It doesn’t matter what it is. Before you do something stupid take time to calm down. NEVER get in a screaming match especially with your wife/girlfriend or your children. I have had to explain to my kids more than once that I needed a moment to think and calm down before I handled their situation. I REFUSE TO GIVE ANOTHER PERSON OR MY EMOTIONS POWER OVER ME. Anytime we just emotionally react to something we usually do something or say something we regret later. Any martial artist will tell you that martial arts does not make you a brawler or a bully, quite the contrary, as a trained martial artist you can walk away from someone’s harassment because YOU know what you are capable of and you know you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Now I’m not talking about someone physically attacking you. Of course you have to immediately defend yourself in a situation like that. You don’t let anyone attack or strike you if it is within your skill set and ability to defend against them. That is self-defense. But even then it should not be an emotional response.  A well trained martial artist does not continue to beat on someone after they have subdued them, they don’t apply lethal force unless the situation merits it. That is not the case most of the time though, is it? Most of the time it is a situation that escalated out of control because one or both parties did not control their emotions, they got screaming at one another and very often struck someone physically. Anyone with whom you are in a regular relationship especially you should both agree to allowing the other time if they  ask for it to think and calm themselves and get all emotion out of the  equation and then come back together and handle the situation in a mutually respectful manner. And furthermore, a disagreement should never be about WINNING THE ARGUMENT or getting your way…Neither should it be about giving in and giving someone their way. It should be a time to dialogue rationally and respectfully and come to some mutual agreement of how to handle the situation even if it means going your own separate ways. It should be about LISTENING to what each of you have to say, repeat back to them what your understanding of what they are saying is so neither of you assume and react on your assumptions which very often is not what the other meant at all by what was said. At the root of all anger and arguing is selfishness. It should not be about either of you individually. It is about BOTH of you and should be settled with that in mind.